My
name is Sarah, I am the momma to six wonderfully amazing children.
Tommy and I met at the end of April this year via a dating site called
Plenty of Fish. Donna, my best friend of 23 years, set up a profile on
that site for me to show me that real men do in fact exist. Maybe I
should give a bit of a explaination......I am going to tell you this
story from my perspective.
First
and Foremost, My children. My oldest son, J currently resides with his
father by mutual decision. Though not easy, this decision was made with
J's best interest at heart. Elij is the next in line, the oldest child
in my home. Elij is a wonderfully smart and bright little boy who
carries a diagnosis of High Functioning Autism. Then there is Wills. He
is an amazing, caring little boy. and Dyls, My gorgeous, sweet little
girl. The twins... Gibby and Marc are the youngest of my bunch. Gibby is
a ray of sunshine. Always happy and Giggling over the smallest things.
Marc is all boy. rough and tumble with the ability to cuddle up next to
you and melt your heart with a smile within a second. I love my
children, they are my life, my heart.
You
see, Dann (my soon to be ex husband) and I had been together for 10
years. Over the last two and a half years, Life had been difficult to
say the least. In December 2010, I had found e-mails that he and a
female had been sending each other. In june2011, I found out that he had
an affair, and then this past February, he came clean about having an
ongoing affair with my one time friend, Margot. At the end of February, I
discovered that Dann has been lying to me for quite some time. I found
documentation buried in stacks of old moving records, from 2005 that he
was the center of an investigation for rape/sodomy where he openly
admitted to having an affair with another woman for quite some time. I
had put my foot down last year, Dann and Margot were spending increasing
amounts of time with each other, excluding me, and her husband. He
wanted his wife, and the mistress? Lets not forget to fill you in on the
way he treated his children and myself. His method of discipline was to
shove the children over the arm of the sofa, or on their stomachs on
the floor, grab
a belt and start swinging. Wills and Elij were the most common victims
of this. These two wonderful little boys would say they did something so
their younger siblings wouln't get it from dear old dad. I stepped in
when I was present. I am realizing now that I was absolutely scared of
this mans actions. I was told that I could not get a job. I was made to
feel worthless, and like I couldn't even survive without this man. He
left for Ft Gordon, Georgia in January for reclass in the US Army. and
made a choice in mid february that allowed me to finally have freedom.
He chose to fess up the truth, and chose his mistress over his family.
Enter Donna. My best friend decided to stay with me to help with
sorting and packing.... She wittnessed a lot of what my soon to be ex
has done. And then Enter Tommy. He and I began talking on POF, and
really hit it off. He was there for me.
On
April 26, I went and filed for sole physical custody of my children.
The gentleman there kept saying that the information I was giving him on
the children sounded very familiar. At my urging, He looked up my name,
and discovered that my soon to be ex had already been there! Dann filed
for visitation of all five children April 23. WHAT?!? This man had been
in town and did not even attempt to see his children? We had a hearing
set up for June 1. We had to move rather quickly, so I called the one
person who was truly there for me. Tommy and I worked our butts off to
move in three days, and to set up the new house for my babies. In the
time that Tommy helped to move me, Donna, and my babies into a home in
Petersburg, VA from Fort Lee, VA up to the time of the hearing, my soon
to be ex did not call his children, and only saw them twice in my back
yard, and once at the local park. Dann had called CPS numerous times
since January and used those reports, which were unfounded by CPS, in
court. The Judge granted HIM temporary custody of the youngest three
children, and visitation was granted for the older two boys. I was not
even given the chance to speak! The Guardian ad Litem was not even
assigned yet! Dann was to pick up the children June 7 to move with them
to Georgia. On the monday before he was to pick up the children, He
walked onto my property and took my 99 Durango which was and still is
considered marital property. He left me without a vehicle in which to
transport our children to school, and for me to work. I am a driver for
Dominos, I need a vehicle in which to work. But he didn't care about
any of that. From that time until this past Friday, I did not get to see
my three youngest children at all and the only way I could speak to my
children was on speaker phone where he would tell them what they could
or could not say. If I said anything or asked anything other than I love
you and I miss you, and are you having fun, He would intrude on the
conversation. Aug 3 was our last hearing, where visitation was court
ordered.
From
my perspective, This is a man who wants nothing more than to cut me
from my youngest children's lives completely. He is trying to exhude his
power, keep me under his thumb and show he is still in control.
However, its not working, so he is hurting me the only way he can....
attack my heart. This is a person who doesn't even speak to my older two
boys. And this s the only father that Wills knows.
The
primary conern through all of this is my children. I want them to be
happy. I want them to be taken care of, to know that they are safe. I
want them to be loved, to be allowed to be children. To be able to live
free of the fear that if they do something wrong, they'll be disciplined
to the point of abuse. I may not live near my old hometown full of
family, but we have forged a family and a support system here. I feel
that my children are better benefitted living here with me. With care,
support and love coming in the form of my best friend Donna, my
boyfriend Tommy, my other best friend Carol, and with a Mommy who has
always been there for them. I simply pray that the Guardian ad Litem
sees this.
